The Art of Love
by HighOnSky
Summary: After the death of her daughter Emi has noone but her art by herside. But when she is asked to join the Akatsuki can she manage to open herself up to the possible hurt that comes with love? Or will she push love away to keep her heart in one piece ...
1. The Sparks Are Ignited

The Art Of Love

A Deidara Love Story

Part One The Sparks Are Ignited

I sat looking at the sky and taking a break from my artwork. The clouds rolled by carelessly and left me wondering how it would feel to not have a care in the world. To not have to feel pain or loneliness or loss. It must be wonderful to be a cloud. Or to be a mother of a cloud. To know that no matter what your children would always be ok and never harmed. I sighed sitting back up to look at my mosaic. It was a mother holding a child's hand and staring down at below from a cloud. It was beautiful

I put that last few tiles into place and looked at my masterpiece. Half of me was happy and the other half was sad. This piece as in many others I had unintentionally made the two look like me and how my daughter would have looked at that age. I toughed the girl with a finger tracing the waves of her blonde hair. I would give anything to have had that girl with me now to feel a child's hair again.

Ever since my own daughter was killed years ago I could not even be around children because it brought so much pain. So here I sat admiring from afar the little kids playing in the park. I spotted a little girl with light blonde hair who was about three years old. I had given names to the kids I saw regularly and this one which I had named Mana after my own daughter was my favorite. If my daughter had lived I knew that exactly how she would have looked. I smiled as I saw her playing with her two siblings and started to daydream yet again about what could have been.

Around here it was only ever silence so it startled me when I heard a rather large boom come from behind me. I turned just in time to see a shower of brilliant lights shimmer away into the sunlight. I packed up my art supplies and walked towards the lights to investigate. The closer I got to the noise I saw more and more lights of all different colors cascading over the tree tops.

I came upon a small clearing and saw a man that had blonde hair and a black cloak with red clouds on it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought I had seen it somewhere but all thoughts left me when I saw what he was doing. He was making little clay birds then with his chakra would send them flying into the air where they would explode into colors of green gold red and blue. I stepped into the clearing in awe not even thinking about how dangerous this man could be.

I wasnt even looking at him but up at his birds. He spotted me and smiled then mostly for my own amusement he sent up the rest of his birds and made them all explode making the shimmering light fall around me in all different colors. I smiled at him and said "Your work is beautiful! Not just the explosions but the birds to. Its a shame they don't last." I picked up a fragment of a head and turned it in my hands delicately so I didnt break it any more. The detail work was extraordinary and I wishing I could have a whole bird.

As if reading my mind the man walked over to me and handed me one of his birds which I hoped wouldnt blow up in my face. "Yes I work hard on them but true beauty only last for but a flash in a life time so why should art be any different?" he said taking my hand in his to close my fist around the bird. When I opened my hand there was nothing but a soft gold dust that quickly got swept away in the wind.

I looked at him in wonder and was about to ask his name when he said "Hmm well im glad you actually came here Emi. My name is Deidara and im here to ask you to come join my organization the Akatsuki. Our boss has seen you when you are fighting and thinks you would be very useful to us. Please say yes because if you say know I am sorry to say that the other choice is not something I want to do. Espically now that I have seen you. Your a true piece of beauty and when you find true beauty in the real world it is something you should hold on to for a long time."

I looked at him slightly blushing but then thinking about what he had just said. I had heard about the Akatsuki and I knew that they were an organization of rouge ninja's that did mysterious work often ending with people dead. Not that I had any problem killing people because I rather enjoyed torturing and killing people myself. Just thinking about a kill made my blood start to boil and my fingers itched to pull out my needles to begin the torture. I however restrained myself.

"I know about your group and I have to say I would be rather interested but … but I would not ever be able to harm children. Send me to kill anyone but them I just could never do it." I said shivering a little remembering seeing my own baby slaughtered before my eyes. My fingers out of habit reached up to the small vile of her blood that hung around my neck.

Deidara looked at my sympatheticly and said "Trust me Emi we know all about your past and took in account that you wouldnt do anything of that sort. Besides children are of no threat to us well … I take that back Itachi doesn't care for his little brother and he might kill him but the Uchiha's are a complicated family" he laughed as if he knew some inside joke that I didnt and it didnt ease my worries very much. But then he smiled at me a sort of half smile that for reasons I could not ever explain made me melt and get weak at the knees. There was something about Deidara that I liked and im not sure if it was that he was cute or that he was such a great artist but I felt a need to be near him.

He saw me staring at him and took that as I was still unsure so he said "Oh please come on. If you say no I will not kill you, I couldnt kill such a beautiful peace of art like you, but someone will. And how bout this ill even show you how to make fireworks out of clay and powder. So what do you say?" He held out a hand to me his eyes begging me take it. Again I was blushing since he kept calling me beautiful and I took his hand.

A strange feeling washed over me when he touched me. My skin tingled with warmth, my heart started beating faster, all my thoughts clouded, and his hand felt natural there in my hand. Like it belonged. I looked at Deidara and from the expression on his face I think he felt it to. His face showed signs of tenderness though we barely knew each other and his hand took mine as if it had done it a thousand times before. But soon he realized what he was doing and pulled hi hand away and determinedly didnt look me in the eye.

"Im glad you are coming Emi. And don't worry if anyone messes with you Ill have your back. So just tell me if you ever need anything ok? Or just come find me if you want to talk. You can even come watch me work on my sculptures if you want." he said tripping over his words and his feet as we walked. I couldnt help but laugh a little to myself. It seemed that he was fighting to find words to say and while trying to think of what to say didnt have enough time to watch how he was walking. I wonder if he was that way because of me? I knew that I myself couldnt find the right thing to say to him no matter how hard I tried.

He finally stopped talking and began just walking in front of me when he finally fell leaving me with no time to stop and so down I went with him. I fell on top of him embarrassingly. Its seems that when he had saw me start to fall he had put his hands up as a reflex and thats exactly where my chest landed. I turned bright red while he turned even redder as he moved his hands quickly and let me fall onto his chest with a thud.

We both kind of just laid there for a few minutes just looking at each other still red in the face. Finally I felt him shift under me, and again I turned red when I felt a certain something brush against my thigh, and I stood up. He stood up after me and thats when I started to pout. I realized that I hadnt actually minded how we had fallen and didnt want to get up. He then looked at me pouting and smiled at me saying "Now that face just makes you look even cuter. But I must wonder my beautiful one what makes you pout?"

I looked away from him turning red again and answered "I um didnt plan on falling specially not like that. Ive been told I do this when ever something doesn't go my way." I couldnt look at him when I said this. I knew what I was saying was to an extent a lie and I couldnt lie to people's faces. He just shrugged and we again made our way to the hideout. I couldnt help thinking on the way that a spark had just been lit between the two of us.


	2. My Family and My Secret Love

**The Art of Love**

**A Deidara Love Story**

**Part Two My Family and My Secret Love**

I woke up in the morning and woke up rubbing my eyes. I looked around my small room with its many mosaics and statues. I had few possessions to my name since it was rare that I went anywhere so I didn't exactly go shopping a lot. Plus I never had many things even before I came to the Akatsuki. I looked fondly at my favorite sculpture sitting upon its pedestal sparkling in the morning light. It was a sculpture of a beautiful girl, I had been told it was me, sitting on a dove. This was my favorite because it was handmade by Deidara as a birthday gift for me.

After a few minutes of stretching and yawning I finally got up and sat in from of my vanity. I brushed my blonde hair and put it in my usual low pigtails and as always my bangs fell into my green eyes. I pouted the pout that Deidara so often admired then walked out of the room to the kitchen. I walked without making a sound on the rough tile floor but couldn't resist a shiver that an up my spine from the coldness.

I went to the fridge and looked inside for something to make for breakfast. We were running low on supplies but I managed to find the things necessary to make french toast and bacon. I made a note to myself to ask Kakuzu for some money to go shopping. He was always stingy with money but I knew that if I asked he would give me what ever I wanted, just like most of the organization.

I started cooking and humming quietly to myself. One of my favorite times of the day was in the morning when I was awake by myself, usually making breakfast or doing laundry, and I had all my thoughts to myself. Usually my mind wondered to my late daughter or my latest masterpiece but today my mind drifted of to Deidara. I thought of him because today was finally the day I had been waiting for. Last week he had asked me if I would like to go for a ride with him sometime, he knew how I loved his flying clay birds, and when I had eagerly accepted we made arrangements for today. Well he made them actually I had no clue what he was up to.

I finished the food and laid it out on the table along with coffee orange juice and milk. As on cue I started to hear the movements that let me know everyone was waking up. I could faintly hear Tobi laughing undoubtedly at him annoying Deidara, I could tell since I heard his annoyed growl. I could also hear Sasori's puppet dragging along the floor along with Kisame's loud yawning. I heard the other members coming down the hall each making there own unique noises that only I could point out.

They all came to the table rubbing there eyes and yawning. Slowly they all took a seat and helped them selves to the food. I took a seat at the only empty seat next to Itachi and across from Deidara. Itachi was sipping on coffee without eating and I pouted. I saw Deidara smile as he always did when I made this face and I saw Itachi eying me from the corner of his eye. His startling red eyes that scared most didn't faze me any. He finally sighed and said "What is it Emi?"

I took a plate and filled it with french toast and other goodies "What have I told you before you need to start eating more! Look at you I fix three meals a day and your still only skin and bone" I said poking his ribs to make my point. A small smile escaped his lips as he lifted his cup to his lips.

"Fine again you win Emi but I'm telling you this is the last time you boss me around like my mother." he said trying to sound annoyed but I knew that he didn't actually mind my nagging. Without me I doubt any of them could make it threw the week. They never said a word of gratitude, except Deidara, but they all had there own ways of showing me they appreciated me. To me it didn't matter after a few years they had become my family. Al of them like my children but one of them I hoped would be more.

I munched on my toast when I remembered the low supplies in the fridge and said "Kakuzu luv I need some money or we are all gonna go hungry within the week!" I gave him my sweetest look. I saw him trying hard not to look at me but finally he broke and looked. That's when I knew he was mine.

He sighed and hung his head and said in a sorrowful voice "Oh course Emi what ever you want. Here this should cover it hopefully" he handed over a small bundle of bills. I counted them then pouted looking at him again. Everyone was looking at Kakuzu waiting to see if he would hand over more. He never gave money to everyone and the fact he gave me any was surprising. But after a few minutes of silence he groaned and reluctantly handed over more money resulting in small snickers from around the table.

"Tehe Emi-san got money from Kakuzu! Emi-san is such a good girl!" Tobi said laughing and looking at me waiting for his usual compliment from me. I giggled giving him a hug and a cookie. He squealed from delight and went to dunking in his cookie in milk. With everyone settled again I took the time to looking at Deidara. He looked back at me a few times and I greeted him with an affectionate smile which made him blush bright red. Finally people finished eating and just as I had trained them they all washed there dish's. They had come so far.

I cleaned up the rest of the mess but today had an unexpected helper, Itachi. I looked at him curiously but didn't say a word. If Itachi wanted to talk he would tell me. If he didn't he would just help and be on his way. After we had cleaned everything up he leaned against the counter and looked at me. I looked back but felt uneasy doing so. It wasn't like Itachi to just stand and stare. Then suddenly he said "So are you planning to tell Deidara that you love him today when you two go on your date?" I dropped the glass I was holding and didn't even hear it shatter on the floor though I knew it did.

I stared at Itachi for what seemed like forever unable to come up with the right words. Finally, stammering, I said to him "I what I um I don't know what your talking about Itachi is just my friend and were just going to spend time together. What would give you the slightest idea that he loved me ..." I started cleaning up the class thankful for the reason not to look at Itachi.

Even when I wasn't looking at him I could feel his smirk. "I didn't say a word about Deidara loving you. I wanted to know if you were going to tell him that you loved him. Don't even deny it Emi I can see it in your eyes. But you asking if he gave me a hint that he loved you means that it bothers you that he might not love you back. Let me just say this Emi if Deidara doesn't love you then Kisame is a pet gold fish." he said with that hint of brotherly love that sometimes showed in him. It made me wonder if he ever thought of his little brother? I cursed myself for being unfocused this was to serious!

I looked at Itachi a look of worry on my face "Itachi-san I trust you with my life but I think you got the wrong idea from Deidara. Its true I love him with all my heart and cherish every moment I spend alone with him. But to him Im just … Im just Emi the only person who understands his views on art." I said blinking my eyes rapidly holding back tears. So uncharacteristically of him Itachi hugged me.

I let him hug me and cried silently into his robe. Finally I stopped and he let me go. He then Took me by the hand and walked me down the hall. We stopped outside of Deidara's door. "Emi you out of anyone should know that Deidara never keeps the sculptures he makes unless he gives it to you. But you need to see this."

He then opened his door and I gasped looking into the dimly lit room.

It was hard to see because there was only one light source but what I saw took my breath away. There in front of my eyes was a statue, a life size one that must have taken forever, And around the base were candles flickering all the way around making the statue almost come to life. But even without any of that the statue would have been amazing because that statue was of Deidara his arms wrapped around me and we were both lost in a deep kiss.

I Walked up to it walking around it noticing every little detail even down to my necklace and a small tear dripping down his cheek. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was like my dream had suddenly jumped out in front of me. Standing on my tiptoes I ran a hand along the clay Deidara's face. It was cold but if I closed my eyes I could almost trick myself into thinking it was him.

I looked back at Itachi and he gave me that what did I tell you look. "Itachi this is … its unbelievable. Simply amazing really. But I cant tell him how I feel. What if we get together but then he realizes that im not the girl he wants. The girl he dreams of and then I wouldn't have him at all. I couldn't live with that Itachi surely you can understand living without someone you love?" I said to him thinking about all the bad things that could happen. I knew if anyone could understand Itachi could even though he never said it I knew he missed his younger brother. If he didn't Sasuke would have been dead.

Itachi sighed and lead me out of the room and he walked me back to my room. There he said "Emi I think your just trying to distance yourself because of what happened to Mana. You loved her and she died you don't want that to happen to Deidara. And believe me not even in his dreams could he have imagined someone as wonderful as you." on that last note he left. Leaving me with all of this to think about.

I paced my room keeping myself busy by getting ready to hang out with Deidara. I tried with all my might to put Itachi's words and Deidara's statue out of my head. Nothing seemed to help but my heart skipped a beat when I heard a knock on the door and in came Deidara. I blushed and pulled a blanket over me just remembering I was in the process of getting dressed. He stood there petrified for a moment looking over my naked body then realizing what he was doing covered his eyes and exited the room. I quickly got dressed in my Akatsuki print kimono dress.

I waked out my door and turned red looking at Deidara. He smiled at me but he to was turning red. He said "Im sorry Emi I should have waited for you to answer but I was so excited about our dat … our time alone together. Please don't be mad at me and wow you look gorgeous!" he finished now actually looking at me.

I smiled at him and placed a hand on his face smiling at him. Truth was I didn't actually care that he saw me naked. For some reason it actually made me feel good. A tingling sensation washing over me as I spoke to him "Of course not Deidara dear it wasn't your fault. Besides its not like I have anything to be ashamed of."

Deidara looked at me a little taken back. "Oh no of course not your beautiful I mean not that I looked I mean of course I looked but I mean I didn't really see anything I oh um how about that ride?" he said trying to change the subject fast. He lead me down the hall and outside where he already had a giant bird waiting. He held me close and said "hold on" as he jumped and we landed gracefully on its back. Deidara knew I could have easily landed myself but he did this anytime we traveled together. Not that I minded.

Pretty soon we were gliding threw the air and I could feel the cool rush of the breeze brushing against my skin making me shiver slightly. The higher we got the colder it got and the more I shivered. I tried hard to concentrate on what Deidara was saying but the cold was really getting to me. I hugged my knees to my chest in an attempt to cover more, since my dress was very short, but it didn't help much.

Deidara moved closer to me and took off his cloak wrapping it around me. I pulled it close to me and breathed in the sent. A mixture of wet clay spark powder and some wonderful smell I couldn't put my finger on, a new cologne perhaps? Whatever it was I couldn't get enough of it. Then when I looked up to thank him I gasped I hadn't realized that he was not wearing a shirt underneath his cloak. I looked him over again and again studying every curve of his body and dieing to reach out and run my hands along his six pack. But I restrained myself.

Deidara looked at me smiling, almost smirking, and said "Better Emi my pretty?" I could tell he had done this on purpose trying to get a reaction out of me but I looked away and just nodded and added something about how I was much better. I saw him pout a little and smiled. He was starting to become me. And it was adorable.

At that moment I could have just reached out and kissed him. I could have held him and ran my hands all over his body. For what good was it to see only a corner of a great work of art when you could see the whole thing. I was dieing to but I couldn't. My head again ran with the same doubts that had come up when I had talked to Itachi. When I was thinking Deidara had suddenly inched closer to me sitting almost in my lap. I started to shake both from excitement and from fear. Itachi had been right I was terrified of getting close because right now all I could think about was what if I got Deidara killed!

But I just melted when Deidara put his arm around me and started pulling me in close. I could hardly think about him dieing when he was so close to me at this very moment high up in the air all the dangers of life far below us. My will power broke and I leaned into him happy that he was holding me and for the extra warmth. Deidara nuzzled his nose into my neck and I let out a small giggle. I was very ticklish.

I heard Deidara let out a sigh of happiness and laid his head on my shoulder. I leaned my head onto his and sighed not from happiness but from defeat. Up here there was hope for my love with Deidara but I knew when we landed it all would go away as quickly as it came. I cursed Deidara in my head how dare he be so charming and cute!

As I was thinking I felt his warm lips slowly and tenderly starting to kiss my neck ad I was well aware of his whole body warm against hers. It felt so right and I wanted nothing more to turn around and kiss the one who I loved more then life itself . But with great difficulty I pulled away from him and refused to look at him.

Finally I looked back and saw the confused and sad look on his face. Oh how a kiss could wipe away the sad face of my love! But I turned away from him not letting him see me cry and said with a highly controlled voice "Deidara stop I cant … just I cant explain but don't please don't touch me like that or kiss me like that … and please don't look at me with those sad blue eyes … oh damn you Deidara what you do to me!" I punched the birds back being careful, however, not to leave a mark.

"Emi, my beautiful one, what … what makes you talk like this? Do you not realize my love for you all of this I did for you! To make you smile that wonderfully bright smile and see those bright green eyes sparkle and to see it all with you in my eyes. Have you not looked at me with the same love that I look at you with? Emi … my love do you not love me back?" Deidara said not daring to come closer, he was fully aware of the power I had, but I could feels his eyes piercing right threw me right into my heart.

With great difficulty I made my voice sound full of hatred when really it was hatred directed only at myself "Deidara everyone in the Akatsuki is my family and I love them all and that extends to you as well..." I sighed not being able to pull off the charade anymore and my voice dropped to one of utter depression. "Deidara its true I value you over anyone I know and I would do anything for you but I cant do this. No matter how I feel or what I want I know in the end this is the best so please Deidara my darling ask anything of me but this. For this can not be. I will not add your blood to my necklace … I will not let it happen."

Deidara did not say another word but I heard him hold back a few sobs and then against my own will I turned around and kissed him. I pulled away just as quickly as I kissed him though. I cupped his head in my hands and stroked his cheek with my thumb "Deidara don't think that I don't have feelings for you but … I cant im sorry my darling." I said then seeing that we had descended I jumped down because I knew if I looked back at him I wouldnt be able leave.

I ran back to the hideout as fast I could and threw myself into my room crying into my pillow. I screamed and kicked and cried and smashed my own mosaics. Till finally I fell asleep dreaming of what would have happened if I had let him continue if I had stayed. But then I woke with a start when I felt eyes staring at me and when I fully opened my eyes I saw Itachi standing over me.

"Emi your a fool … you do know that don't you?" he said taking a seat on my bed as I sat up. I hugged my knees and nodded. I knew all to well that I was a fool. When I said nothing he continued saying "I know what happened with Deidara he told me everything. Mostly because im the one who helped him plan the perfect way to show you that he loved you and then you went and broke his heart."

I cried silently and looked at Itachi "Good now he can let me go and he can be out of harms way. If he gets hurt it wont be because of me … now maybe he can find somebody that he can have a real relationship with."

Itachi sighed angrily sighed and yelled, well what yelling was for him, "Stop being an idiot! Deidara will never be over you and he hasnt even thought about giving up on you! Can you not see that he is already always in harms way and he is in no greater risk of getting hurt with you then he is without you! Now you need to stop being a first class idiot and go be happy with him instead of miserable in here with me!" I looked at him in surprise. No one ever yelled at me espically not Itachi!

But I realized something he was right. We were all contently in danger and why suffer this pain alone when I can be happy with Deidara? I was a fool a complete and total fool but now all I had to do was go to him right now. Finally Itachi made me realize that I do deserve to be happy even if I cant have my baby I can have my love. Now all I had to do was go be with him … but would he take me after what I did to him just a few hours earlier?


	3. To Love Again

The Art of Love

A Deidara Love Story

Part Three To Love Again

I paced my room biting my nails. I heard Itachi sigh as he sat on my bed. "Emi you have been doing this for an hour now. I have gone over this time and time again Deidara is not mad. Hes actually just really depressed and he still wants you more then anything. Look this is very simple just walk down the hall go into his room and tell him how you feel. You know he loves you but right now he thinks that you don't love him. Deidara is a very … rash person as you very well know. When he is depressed he does things he regrets. This is the worse I have ever seen him so there is no telling what he will do. You need to tell him tonight." Itachi said harshly.

I looked back him then opening my mouth to say something closed it again. No matter how hard I tried to talk the more tongue tied I got. My head was filled with a continuous flash of my most favorite memories of Deidara. The one that showed up the most was the experience I had just had with him tonight, his body warm against mine and his arms placed around my waist and the kisses on my neck that wade me want to melt into him. I sighed and ran my fingers threw my hair that I had long ago let down from its regular pigtails.

"Itachi I know I am being impossible but you have to realize this isn't exactly easy for me. I mean you said yourself for the longest time I have pushed everyone I even slightly cared about away and this time I let him get so close to me then when I tried pushing him away I hurt myself to. God why does this have to be so difficult!" I said trowing myself on my bed and covering my face with my hands.

He sighed out of anger and said "No it is not difficult your just making it difficult. Its another way you protect yourself. Your making excuses for yourself to not let him in hoping he will just push himself out of your life. What your not realizing is that Deidara doesn't give up easily and if he ever does give up its because what he is after isn't there anymore. Hes going to be after you for the rest of his life." Then giving me one last look left.

"Damn it Itachi why do you have to be so bloody smart." I said and stared at my ceiling. I had been working on a large mosaic on it though it wasn't finished yet. The left side had a boarder of pink and white tiles then a background of a light sky blue. Then in the middle there was me wearing a white sundress flowing in an unseen wind, one hand over my heart and the other stretched out as if holding someones hand though that's where it ended. I had never been able to finish it since I was not sure what I wanted to put there.

I stared at it for the longest time and for some reason something in the back of my head was nagging at me. It was like it was telling me to finish it that I already knew what I wanted. But I couldn't think of what I wanted clearly. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I had fallen asleep. My dreams filled with flash's of my daughter, the people I had happily killed, and Deidara. All the things that had ever made me happy in life. Then there was a scene I didn't realize but I knew it was the happiest I had ever been.

I woke up smiling and the first thing I did was grab my art supplies and began to finish the work on my ceiling. After I was finished I was covered in paint plaster and clay. Yet I felt the most beautiful and wonderful that I had ever felt in the world. I brushed a lose strand of hair that was hanging in my face, since my hair was now in a lose bun, leaving a white mark of plaster on my forehead as I looked up at my latest work.

Then with a new happiness in me I left my room at a run and stopped at Deidara's door. I froze for a minute my heart almost stopping at the thought of opening the door. But then I remembered my ceiling and my dream and walked in not even bothering to knock. As I walked in I saw Deidara sleeping the only thing covering him was his blanket. He had once told me he slept naked but I had thought at the time he was just flirting. Now I blushed realizing he had been serious.

I slowly slid into bed with him and put my arm on him letting my fingers gently touch his chest. I laid my head on his shoulder and watched him sleep a small smile forming on his lips. I smiled to and after a few minutes I shifted just enough were I could kiss is cheek gently just barely letting my lips brush his warm skin.

Slowly he began to wake up his eyes opening more minute by minute. I smiled down at him when his eyes were almost completely open. He looked around as if looking for something then said "These dreams usually involve candles and sake … but I guess any dream with her is a good dream." he then wrapped his arms around me and put his head on top of mine. "Huh also funny your usually naked in these dreams to." he said looking at me.

I laughed "Well that's not going to be just in your dreams now my luv." I said and I smiled at him again and ran the back of my hand down his cheek. He started to blush and his eyes grew wide finally realizing I was actually there. As is to convince himself he put a hand on my face and I leaned into it making him blush more and smile the smile that I fell in love with.

"Deidara my dear I'm sorry for what happened earlier I was … I was being stupid and that's pretty much it. After so many years pushing people away I got afraid since I was letting you get so close and when I realized I was actually falling for you I tried to push you away. But Itachi made me see that just because I don't have my daughter doesn't mean I shouldn't let myself stay in misery always. I deserve to be happy and you my sweet Deidara make me happy. Wont you please have me even though I was so stupid?" I asked him looking into those big blue eyes of his that were looking at me filled with love so even before he said it I knew what he was going to say.

Then without saying a word he put a finger under my chin and kissed me gently. I kissed back putting more force behind the kiss and wrapped my hands in his long hair pulling him closer to me. I felt him smile and he bit down on my lip making me jump slightly. Not because I didn't like it because I really liked it but because it caught me by surprise. With skill he slipped his tongue into my mouth and slid his hand up my shirt unhooking my bra.

I blushed but helped him unbutton my dress and remove my bra. He shifted so that I was on my back and he was on top looking down at me. He smiled and bent down kissing my breast while gently squeezing them. He started sucking on my nipple biting down slightly making me bite down on my own lip to stop myself from showing my pleasure.

He looked up at me smirking then came back up face to face with me and said "You really did hurt me tonight but I think that this may make up for it." I blushed as he started pulling down my panties and started to ease in his hand finger by finer. After four fingers he started getting faster making me moan softly and let out a small scream feeling something else along with his fingers.

He smiled going in deeper with the tongue on his hands and kissing me roughly and with his other hand was squeezing my breast hard. I closed my eyes enjoying all of it and started to moan in his mouth. He then took my hand leading it down to his own little, well that's to say BIG, problem. I took the hint and with care started to rub slowly feeling him get harder in my hand.

His breathing was steadily increasing and he whispered "Faster". I did what he said moving my hand up and down going faster and faster with approving little grunts from him. Finally he couldn't take it any more and without a warning he removed his hands and swiftly moved and shoving everything he had into me making me let out a scream of surprise.

He obviously took I as a scream of pleasure, not that I didn't like it, and started going fast making me really scream for pleasure this time and drag my nails across his back. This made him let out moans of his own and keep going faster and deeper making me arch my back and finally let out a long scream and fall flat on my back panting. He pulled out and left the prove of his pleasure show all over my stomach.

He laid down next to me and pulled me close to him cuddling close. I turned facing him smiling and gave him a quick kiss. "Ok I officially forgive you for earlier." he said putting his forehead to mine. I laughed lightly and started to play with his hair which was now plastered to his forehead with sweat.

"Deidara usually I put on a smile and I make people believe I am happy but its all just a an act. But with you I am truly happy and when ever I think of you I smile a real smile. I dream of you all the time today and tonight I dreamed of you again but this time it was of what I wanted in the future a time when I would be happy for the rest of my life. I cant really explain it but please wont you come look at something in my room?" I said sitting up pulling on my dress again.

He sat up and said "Of course anything you want my dear." then pulling on pants I took him by the hand and lead him to my room. I sat down on my bed and he did the same. I laid down and again he did the same and I saw him smile looking at the mosaic on my ceiling. I smiled to looking at it again. It was me holding the hand of a little girl with cute high pigtails and big blue eyes. Then holding her hands was Deidara smiling ever so slightly at the little girl but his eyes were focused on me as my eyes were gazing back at his.

He spoke softly to me saying "This dream is a wonderful dream my darling Emi but … do you really think this could ever really be? This family looks so peaceful without a worry in the world as if they weren't in danger. Do you think this will ever be?" He looked at me his eyes mixed with affection and sadness.

I looked at him feeling as if my heart was broke again "Deidara are you saying you don't want to have a family with me? Surely you know that this is what I want most in the world other then you? Im born to be a mother everyone even tells me so. Are you telling me you never want to be a father to have precious little children with me?" I said looking at him my eyes watering.

He sat up and pulled me into his arms holding me close. "Emi you don't know how much I actually would love to have the life you have pictured so perfectly in your art. But were wanted everywhere and it would be next to impossible to leave the Akatsuki. Even if we did have a baby do you think they would allow it to live? When we were recruited it was for a life time and any kids we might have would be a risk to the organization. Even if they were aloud to live there whole lives would be devoted to this hell of a place. They would never be aloud to live a free life. Not even we are aloud to live a free life anymore. And there is no way out … trust me I have tried." he said sighing.

I thought for a few minutes about what he said. Then said "You tried by yourself to get out but there would be no stopping the two of us I bet. We could move far away really far away and have a family and a happy life with each other. Deidara I think we should leave … maybe not right now but sometime and sometime soon. All the time we are here the more possibility there is of you or me getting hurt or even dieing. We have to get away before that happens. Please wont you think about it?"

He sighed and played my hair probably not even noticing it. Then said "Emi I know how your feeling but we cant. Not anytime soon at least maybe someday … oh damn I am just to tired to think right now. Look ill keep it in mind but right now I would really just like to go to sleep with my love in my arms … ok?"

Even though I didn't like his answer I smiled kissed him then laid down again to go to sleep. This time with Deidara right there with me I had no reason to dream since my reality had become my best dream.


End file.
